


Anything, Anything

by Adarian



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 04:59:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2760515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adarian/pseuds/Adarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ah, the soul mate AU, a staple for us all. In this version, Adaar decides to remove the ink covering her soul name after Blackwall leaves, only to discover...</p><p>Written for the kink-meme</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anything, Anything

Maryse Adaar was a patient woman, perhaps too patient with her only child. Little Kusala was maybe 10 years old when she ran inside that morning, stomping and crying, demanding that she'd be tattooed with the other girls.

Maryse stood; arms folded as Adaar told her sob story. Every other girl was getting their wrist tattooed, since that was what qunari girls did. She didn't want to see her soul mate's name. Who did that? No one did that. She would be a freak. Maryse sat her daughter down, Adaar still sobbing. She held her daughter's hands in hers.

"My baby," she assured, "We're not in the Qun. We left Seheron so you could choose your own path, your own future. It's not a bad thing, it's perfectly natural. Now, don't get me wrong, I was a little confused when I woke up one day with a serial number, but at least that made your father very, very easy to find."

Adaar wiped her tears away, "But I'm going to get my period any day now. I don't want them to make fun of me."

Maryse took her daughter to her chest and kissed the top of her head.

"I have an idea," she said.

Maryse stood and went into her clinic, gesturing Adaar to follow her. She hopped up on the examination table, dangling her feet over the side. She watched as the little elven woman combined a few potions, coming together in a black liquid.

"Stick out your arm," she instructed.

Adaar did so, watching her mother coat her wrist in a thick black coat. Maryse leaned in and blew on it, allowing it to dry to her skin. 

Maryse said, "Go ahead, touch it."

Adaar did, marveling, "It looks just like a tattoo. I can barely feel it."

"Kush Root Ink," Maryse said, "I use it to circle red marks on skin so I can see if they grow. It's amazing. It'll stay on for years and your skin will breathe right through it. But the remarkable thing is that you can wash it off using Lilac's Milk. So if you ever decide you want to look, you can."

Adaar jumped off the table and into her mother's arms, covering her with kisses. Maryse laughed and tapped her daughter's nose.

"You'll see," she promised, "One day you'll look and you'll tell me I was right."

Adaar rolled her eyes, "Uh huh, Mama, we'll see."

oOoOo

Adaar looked up at the mirror over her basin. She looked like shit. Which was understandable, considering she had spent the last week drinking heavily with Dorian. Blackwall was still gone. It was less and less likely that she was ever going to see him again. So now it was time. She was taking the Kush Root Ink off. She had to know. If it was him, then she was going to drink herself back into a stupor, and if it wasn't, she would embrace life a fresh and find the strongest caffeinated beverage she could find. 

Blackwall had kept his own mark covered with a wristband, as was the way in Ferelden. She had never seen it, not even during sex. She had asked him once for his first name, which made him bristle. He had told her, somewhat unwillingly, that it was James. 

So. Here was the moment of truth. If it was James underneath the decades of discoloured skin, she was about to find out. 

She glanced up, hearing the servant come in. She took the bottle from her silently and went back to her basin. She poured the purple fluid into the warm water, smelling the scent of lilac. She smiled at the memory of her mother's apothecary. Adaar wondered, not for the first time, if in fact her mother had played an elaborate prank on her and it was actually a tattoo. She'd find out soon enough.

Keeping the towel on her shoulder, she plunged her hands into the sudsy water. She sighed, feeling the softness of the Milk. Wringing her hands, she rubbed at the ink, watching the black come off her skin. She stood there for a few minutes scrubbing until finally the water was completely black. 

She took a deep breath and lifted her arms out, drying them on a towel. She opened her eyes and looked at her wrist, practically pink after years of protection from the sun. Then she read the name.

She frowned, "Who the hell is Thom?"

oOoOo

Despite her initial enthusiasm, she still ended up in the bar with Dorian again the next night. Dorian laughed and pointed at her now visible skin. 

"At least it's a name," he protested into his drink, "All I have is a serial number. What the hell does that mean? Is it a book from the library? What is that?"

They were both distracted by Iron Bull, apparently choking on his dinner. Dorian yelled over at him to be quiet and returned to their conversation.

"Look, you found out," Dorian said, "Isn't that good? It's not him. You're free! And you have a name. We'll just go to bars whenever we travel and ask if there's a Thom there. And then you can have your pick."

She pouted, "But I wanted it to be him."

Dorian rolled his eyes, "You wouldn't have been happy either way, would you?"

She shook her head, "Probably not."

Dorian took her mug from her, "Go get some sleep. Drink tea. And then get going with things again. You had a week off; you need to get back to work. It'll make you feel better. And my liver can't take any more of your wallowing in pity."

Adaar laid her head on his shoulder and asked, "Will I ever find love?"

Dorian shoved her off, "Go sleep."

"Dispatch for you, your worship."

The pair looked up in irritation at the young page, shaking as he handed her a crumpled piece of paper.

"I'll read it in the morning," Adaar grumbled, tossing it in her pocket, "Night, Dorian. Don't get up to too much trouble."

She glanced over her shoulder, seeing Dorian already in conversation with Iron Bull, who was leaning against the wall, clearly checking him out. She sighed and went back to her room.

oOoOo

Adaar woke, feeling like death warmed over. Dorian was right. The drinking was done with. No more. She was pleased to find tea and bread on the nightstand beside her and she happily ate. She noticed the piece of paper pinned underneath it and remembered the page from the night before. Still chewing, she picked up the tray and pulled the note out, reading it slowly.

They knew where Blackwall was.

She hated herself for it, but she immediately jumped out of bed. She needed to get to Val Royeaux as soon as she could.

oOoOo

Thom Rainier.  
The name shot through her like an arrow. It rang through her ears as they dragged him off to prison. Thom FREAKING Rainier. Everything he had every told her, everything he had ever said suddenly fell into place. 

And so did the name on her wrist.

It made her even angrier with him, which she didn't think was possible. She wanted to throw things at him and scream at him until her lungs gave out. She didn't even care what he had done, but she cared that he had lied. Utterly lied to her.

And then the damn universe was telling her that this was the best she was going to get. 

Her companions tried to stop her before she pushed her way into the prison, but most of them realized quickly one should not get in the way of a mad qunari woman. She heard Cullen making apologizes behind her as she reached the cellblock, slamming the door behind her. 

The man she had known as Blackwall sat in a dirty cell by himself, wearing barely anything. He looked up at her, his face paling.

"You shouldn't be here," he pleaded, "I never wanted you to see me-"

"Lift up your wrist," she ordered.

"What?" He asked.

"Lift up your Maker-given wrist before I rip it off of you," she growled, "If you're going to the noose, I need to know if it's my name."

He hesitated and lifted his hand through the bars. She saw her name, inked in the same scrawl as hers. Kusala. She backed away from him, running her hand through her hair.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me any of this?" She groaned, "After all these months, after everything we've been through...you run off in the middle of the night, you say nothing, and now you've thrown yourself into all this shit. I don't understand you, I don't understand any of it."

"There's nothing to understand," he replied, pulling his hand back, "I've made mistakes. It's time for me to pay the price. I never wanted to hurt you. I...I was selfish. I couldn't let you see me like this-"

"That is bullshit!" Adaar shouted, "And you know it. If you had told me even from the beginning-"

"You would have given me up," he said quietly, "And I didn't want to be caught. But then I got to know you. And you made me realize-"

She laughed darkly, covering her face with her hands.

"Don't you dare tell me you did this because you had feelings for me," she pleaded, "Please don't. If you tell me you played me too, if you tell me anything else, I can walk away right now."

"I'm done lying," he said, rising to his feet, "I'm going to die as who I really am, like I should have years ago. I tried to be a better man, but I was trying to be a man who doesn't exist anymore. He doesn't deserve me dragging his name through the mud any longer. I lied to you, I did. But I never lied about how I felt. I knew I was going to fall in love with you. I kept trying to leave, but..."

She looked at him, seeing the same man before her, but with a different name. Thom Rainier. The name made her shiver. The good man Blackwall hadn't been her soul mate. But this liar was.

"I couldn't let a man die in my place," he said finally, "So I made a decision. And I knew you would come after me, so I didn't tell you. Now...now I can atone. I wish you hadn't come. I wish you could have remembered me any other way than this."

"I really, really want to hit you right now," Adaar muttered.

She could swear she saw the ghost of a smile on his face as he said, "I don't blame you."

"I'm not having this conversation with you here," she said finally, "We'll talk when you're out of that cell."

"But I-"

"Don't care," she called out as she walked out the block, "Don't shitting care."

oOoOo

The next time Adaar saw him, his hands were tied behind a pole and he was sitting by the fire of their campsite. She smiled as she dismounted her horse.

"Welcome back," she greeted, "I hope the Val Royeaux guard treated you gently on your way here."

"You misused your power," he protested.

She shrugged, "It was going to happen eventually. I might as well misuse it for good."  
She glanced over at the man guarding him, "Dismissed, private."

The man walked off towards the north of the camp, leaving the two of them alone. She sent off the mare to follow them and knelt in front of him.

"I am in your custody, my lady," he said, glancing up at her, "My fate is yours."

Adaar hesitated before kneeling before him. 

"I'm going to let you go," she said.

He raised an eyebrow and she continued, "I'm granting you amnesty. You can go wherever you want, do whatever you want. The deal is that you start living as Thom Rainier. No more lies. If you want to make the world a better place, you do it as yourself. No more hiding behind Blackwall."

He sighed, "I don't deserve it."

"That stops too," she ordered, "Stop pitying yourself, Thom. I've made a decision. I don't care right now what you want."

She paused, "That's not what I meant."

He said softly, "If you cared what I wanted, you would have let me die this morning. Why are you letting me go free?"

"Because I have to give you a chance," she murmured, "Because if my soul mate dies a liar and murderer, what does that say about me?"

He shifted to touch her, as if forgetting he was bound. 

"I love you," he swore, "I want to be a better man for you. I want to serve you, follow you always. You tell me what you need of me and I will do it. I'm not worthy to be your lover, but I will be your slave, anything to serve you."

She leaned in, hesitating before kissing him. His lips still felt the same against hers, his breath the same against her neck. She straddled him as they kissed again. He grinded himself against her and she ran her hands through his hair, gripping as they reached the back of his head.

"Then serve me," she growled.

She hiked her robes around them and reached for his laces, opening them wide enough to reach his hardening cock. He shifted slightly, freeing it. She kissed him again, moaning into his mouth as she guided him into her.

She gripped higher on the pole, pushing herself up and down. He tried to reach up to meet her, but she pushed his chest down with a hand. She groaned as she moved, pressing her breasts purposely past his mouth. He tried to nuzzle into her, but she moved too quickly. With one hand still on his chest, the other reached under her robes and rubbed at her clit fiercely. She grinded herself against him, biting into his shoulder. He moaned into her ear and tried to buck into her. She pressed him back down with both hands and quickened her pace, angling forward to stroke the right spot.

She whimpered as she came, clawing into his chest. He hissed and groaned into her skin, half crying, half begging. She felt him pulse within her and she knew he was growing close. 

She had half a mind to withdraw when he whispered, "Please don't stop."

She smiled, enjoying the advantage. She moved slower, watching him bite his lip. And then she thrust him inside of her, pounding him as hard as she could. She saw tears stream down his face as his mouth trembled. She covered his mouth with her hand, letting him suck hard on her fingers as he jutted into her. She could feel him moan around her hand, feel his legs tremble around her.

She rose, grabbing the knife from her boot. She cut him free of the rope and he grabbed her, pulling her into his arms. He kissed her as she retied his stays. 

"I don't want you to stay out of duty," she murmured, "I want you to stay because you want to. I love you. I'm always going to love you. We're equals, partners. You better not ever lie to me again, Thom. Don't you ever dare keep something from me again."

"I swear," he promised.

She kissed him and he cupped her face in his hands. 

"Then let's go to bed, Thom," she whispered, "It's been a long day."

He flinched still at the name but said nothing. They went back to her tent and he rubbed his hands, getting circulation back in them. They laid side by side, at first not touching. But slowly, they moved towards the other, Adaar lying her head on his chest. She smiled. Thom Rainier snored the same way as Blackwall. 

He held her closer in his sleep and she curled into him, closing her eyes. Time would tell how much of the man she loved was in Thom Rainier. But she had faith enough in the name on her wrist, in whatever divine providence left it there for her. For now, that would have to be enough. 

She supposed she owed her mother a letter.

**Author's Note:**

> Subwall? Perhaps?


End file.
